"The
discrepancies were too great to ignore.
I could no longer deny my feelings of love for the animals.
Someone had to help them, and I could no longer pretend
to be part of a world full of pink, polka dotted dogs in
a Victoria Secret window, and sad, thin, scared, dogs living
chained in the town next door. I could no longer ignore
their plight. That I knew, but I knew not what to do about
it. I had taken the first step outside my self-limiting
boundaries. In the knowing that I had to do something, I
had grown. I had had many an idea since my youth, but made
very few of them happen. I spent a lot of years reading
self-help books, and knew from a logical perspective it
all started with me. But knowing something intellectually
and doing something about it were two different things,
and I, like most of the world, tended to get hung up in
the deep valley between the two.
As fate would have it, I was plopped down next to a chained
dog named Worthless, who I watched and yearned for daily
during the next six years. Those six years of hell took
me to rock bottom, and with the feelings of helplessness
and hopelessness came a certain knowledge that there was
nowhere to go but up.
My family background notwithstanding, I resolved to do something
about it. I had grown further away from my family over the
years anyway...and gradually accepted that I was just too
different from them to fit in. I never would, and didn't
want to if it meant I had to be responsible for the death
of animals, death of a nation, death of ideas, death of
any accepted spirituality outside of the box, and death
of my soul.
I decided that instead of feeling abandoned by my family,
I would form a new family, one based on who I was, and not
who anyone wanted me to be. I wanted more than anything
in the world to be true to myself and myself alone. And
in being true to myself, that meant no longer denying my
love and desire, and celebrating it instead. I would get
in there and fight for the animals. They needed me, and
I needed to be there for them..."
This
work is a turning point for a soul in agony. She can no
longer deny the discrepancies between the fantasy world of the mall, and the animal neglect
next door. She decides to go it alone.
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